Rhea Randhawa

It was a warm summer afternoon. 18 year old Ayushi Singhania lay sprawled across her bed, one hand resting idly on her stomach as she watched the ceiling fan move in lazy circles above her. The air it stirred lifted strands of her hair, brushing them across her face now and then.

Pehla Nasha played in the background. Not loud enough to intrude, not soft enough to disappear. Ayushi closed her eyes, listening intently, absorbing every word sung by Sadhana Sargam and Udit Narayan, as if the song were speaking directly to her.

Reh jaaun jaise main haar ke

Aur choome woh mujhe pyaar se

The lines sent a soft shiver down her spine. It was a strange, unfamiliar sensation, one she didn’t fully understand. Her thoughts wandered without direction, drifting somewhere between imagination and instinct. She couldn’t explain what she was feeling; she only knew it felt different… and that she liked it.

For the first time, Ayushi felt distinctly aware of herself – of her body, her emotions, her presence. A quiet femininity surfaced, not loud or demanding, but unmistakably there. There was a softness to this awareness, a tenderness that surprised her. She didn’t yet have the language for it, but she recognized it as something new.

Her eyes remained closed as her fingers brushed lightly against the side of her neck, absent-mindedly. A faint tingling followed, making her pause. Then her fingers gently ran down her sides. She let out a soft moan instinctively. Ayushi didn’t analyze it; she simply let it be. Her breathing slowed. Her lips parted slightly, then pressed together again, as if she were holding on to the moment before it slipped away. Top lip curled, she bit her lower lip. 

She didn’t know what to call this feeling. She only knew it was hers.. new, confusing, and oddly comforting.

A small, unexpected smile appeared on her face. She felt calm, unguarded, quietly happy, as though she had stumbled upon a secret meant only for her. Something inside her had shifted, and even though she didn’t yet understand it, she sensed that this was only the beginning.

Just then, Mrs. Singhania entered the room, carrying a stack of clothes freshly delivered by the dhobi, instructing Ayushi to put them away immediately.

The spell broke. Ayushi opened her eyes and returned to reality but not before silently promising herself that she would return to that feeling again.

Because somewhere deep within her, something had awakened… and it was already asking to be felt once more.